I'm not sleeping right. It's been about three days. I sleep, but it's fitful. Waking up is a pleasure. When I first thought about divorce, I told my friends that it felt like I was cutting off my right arm. Now, I feel like I am being put into a blender and cut up into little pieces. This may sound dramatic, but it's true. Anyone who has divorced someone that they love, knows what I am saying.
I am not good company. I am able to work, but I cannot tolerate noise, or people who think or act too slowly. My patience is almost nonexistent and I am overly sensitive to criticism. I think I might need something to help me sleep. My husband and I are back on friendly terms as he has temporarily stopped drinking again. I think that this is why I am agitated.
It's good that he is sober and cooperating, but it's almost as if he is one of the voices in "The Journey" yelling for me to stop. He already wants me to get rid of the lawyer and to file through a mediation service. I am not going to get rid of the lawyer. I am not going to stop this time. I will be overjoyed if he recovers. In 5 years, if we are both unattached, I might consider dating him... this is the real reason I am agitated.
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