Tossing blame back and forth is a useless exercise. Of course a failed marriage is an interaction between two people. It's never one person's fault that a marriage fails. But, how does this work when alcohol is involved?
In my case, I really believe my husband and I had "normal" marital struggles. I was very in love with him and I enjoyed taking care of our three young children. I believe that during this time, the only choice he made was to drink hard liquor for 1 week. In that 1 week, he became an alcoholic. That was almost 14 years ago. Is it his fault that he hasn't been able to stop? I don't know. I don't blame him. It is useless to do so. His mother is an alcoholic. He used drugs as a teenager, which primed his brain for addiction. Is this his fault? I don't think so. He doesn't seem to have the will power to quit? Is this his fault? No. Is any of this my fault? No.
What is the point of this discussion? Blame is useless. Responsibility is paramount to happiness. We need to take responsibility for what we can control and change and let the rest go.
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